I headed to Virginia yesterday to see my Aunt and cousins. Other than my sister in Seattle, these are the only family members I have in the U.S. and as they are only two hours away it is disgraceful that I don’t see them more often.
I have my mother’s sense of direction which means I can hardly find my way around the house never mind driving to Virginia (even though I have done that drive numerous times!), so I plugged in my GPS, Stavros.
Yes, my GPS has a name, Stavros Prosthesis. I’m one of those people that names their cars, and when Stavros came into my life “he” turned it upside down (or more accurately, right side up) and was most deserving of a name! “Prosthesis” because that is what he is to me, a device taking the place of a body part, even if not a physical one. “Stavros” just because it went well. Although the name is Greek, I have a Russian accent when I say it, and he has an American accent when he talks to me!
While I am excited about what the future holds, professionally or otherwise, this is also a very confusing time for me as I try and figure out what path to take, or quite frankly where any of the paths even are as right now they seem more like unmarked trails in the woods! It’s a good thing that I am used to getting lost and having to back-track a bit to reground myself or I could go a bit crazy!
I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to find the GPS coordinates of my life’s path as I am eager to start thrashing away all the growth that is currently preventing me from seeing it more clearly.
At times I feel like a want a sickle, or machete, or even some heavy machinery to power through this tangled mess of Kudzu! Not very zen! It just goes to show that I am still decompressing. It also evidences some of the personality assessment results on how I handle stress!
The joy and frustration of “finding yourself”. If only Stavros could find me!